Category: Lord’s Day Liturgy

God’s will is that we abstain from sexual immorality. There are numerous sins in this category, though I think Paul especially had in mind sex before marriage based on the transgressing and defrauding a brother comment in verse 6. But one thing all the sexual and gender corruption and confusion have in common is a wrong view of God.

Each one should have possession of his body and a priority on holiness and honor “not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God” (1 Thessalonians 4:5).

Here the Gentiles/unbelievers have replaced theology proper with an alternative philosophy. Knowing God keeps things in order. He shows us what and who and when and how much to love. Those who know God do not despise the body God gave us, but those who do not know God often serve their body as god. Christians do not devalue sexual desire (at least not when we’re consistent with God’s Word, for example, Proverbs 5:18-19), but if we do not know God then sexual desire leads us like an ox to the slaughter (Proverbs 7:22-23).

The Bible, and even the law itself, are more than rules, the Dos and Do Nots. Revelation enables us to know God and to enjoy Him and it turns the lights on so that we can see what is truly pleasurable and truly fruitful. Knowing God is knowing what is better. Man’s chief end is also man’s chief blessing. Christian, God has called you to know Him and the blessings of holiness.

God desires the sanctification of our flesh, that is, we are called to glorify God in our bodies (see 1 Corinthians 6:20). One part of sanctification is to abstain from sexual immorality, though that states it negatively; it’s what we should avoid. There are more negatives in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8: not living out of lust like Gentiles, not defrauding our brother, not disregarding God. But we often think about sanctification as the Do Nots, when there is as much about looking good.

The reason for immodesty (especially as related to sexual immorality) may include pride, but that’s a pride typically rooted in insecurity, or even just inability to see what is better, what’s more attractive. When we hear someone say, “How did she get out of the house looking like that?” we could interpret that has, “Why doesn’t anyone care about her?” That sort of care would not make her look worse.

Paul does require self-control in verse 4: “that each one of you know how to control his own body.” No dad? No excuse. Perverted culture? That makes it harder, and more important, not impossible.

But the self-control fits with the proper self-image (and this is what fathers, parents, church can model and teach). The entirety of verse 4 says: “that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor.” Holiness is special. Honor is valuable. Saints, that’s you.

I think about it like this for young ladies, though there’s application from a few angles for the guys. My daughters are like precious diamonds set in rings of gold. I’m responsible for protecting them, in process of finding someone better to value and protect them. I’m looking for a guy who’s got an idea of what he’s getting.

So I don’t let any dude come into the store, so to speak, and take the jewelry out for fun time around town. There’s no commitment. I’m looking for an honorable man. And if he’s holy and honorable, he won’t ask to play around with what he won’t pay for. This is expensive stuff we’re dealing with.

Holiness and honor includes what a person avoids, but they’re shown off in how a person is adorned.

Dads, teach your daughters about their honor and value. Moms, teach your daughters true adornment. Young ladies, don’t act pretentious, but as precious (see also 1 Peter 3:4). Young men, be self-controlled, and desire the splendor of holiness as much as you desire the security of a good job.

In my mind there is a life-and-death difference in current usage between the words avoid and abstain. When I was a young kid, my dad took me to a lot of high school football and basketball games, and at halftime he always found the smokers and lit his pipe. I was just a kid, so I stood with him. I was around it, but had no interest in joining in. I abstained from smoking.

That said, I don’t go anywhere near pits of rattle snakes. I’m not interested in them, and getting too close would be a killer. So I avoid those places.

In 1 Thessalonians 4:3 Paul told the Christians that God’s will was for their sanctification, and in this context sanctification meant: “that you abstain from sexual immortality.” We should understand that with more intentional distance than merely non-participation. The word in verse 3 has the idea of get some distance from, keep away from, avoid contact with.

We use the phrase “fight sin” sometimes, and that’s alright. But when it comes to sexual sins we’re not told to fight but to flee. “Flee from sexual immorality” (1 Corinthians 6:18).

I understand that the narrative arc with Joseph in Genesis 39 is ultimately about God getting His man in place to spare Israel for sake of there being an Israel from which Jesus would be born generations later. But on the ground level, it illustrates that it is better to be naked fleeing from sin than have all your clothes on committing it. Of course fleeing with your clothes is better still.

Joseph was where he needed to be for work but, when temptation found him, he took off. We ought not seek out temptation locations. We should avoid triggers, certain persons or places, apps, screens/pics/videos, times, situations. It is God’s will that we do so.

You know how when you’re in significant pain, that’s all you think about? And you tell yourself that if/when you get out of that pain, you will remember what it was like when you were in pain, and you will be extra thankful. But then the Lord relieves your pain, and you get about your work again, and you forget how bad it was. That’s how it is with a lot of things when we’re not in the middle of them, or in not the middle of helping/counseling/equipping someone who is.

When it comes to being single (and I’m not necessarily equating pain with singleness, though singleness does have challenges/burden), and especially single in a community that has a lot of spouses, and that talks about the family and the household, and maybe even more especially when single in a broader culture that loves to make sexual immorality seem like an identity, a status symbol, the “good life,” things are hard.

What do you do? There are a number of things, and I’m focusing on Paul’s instructions in 1 Thessalonians 4, that God’s will doesn’t change no matter the challenges.

For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you. (1 Thessalonians 4:3–8, ESV)

This is addressed to the church, including married people, but it seems especially important for those who aren’t yet.

Sanctified sexuality is personal—that each one know how to control his own body. It is communal—that no one transgress and defraud his brother; how you behave affect the rest of the body. And it is theological, as in, a concern to God who has sent His Spirit to dwell in us—the Lord is the avenger in these things.

Christian, your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit; you are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God with your sexuality. Glorify God in your consecrated contentment while praying and waiting for God to provide a spouse. Glorify God in any relationship as you pursue finding out if you should be his/her spouse.

Parents, you also glorify God as you encourage your kids to be holy. It is part of our parental responsibility to help our kids acknowledge that as they pursue a good and God-given thing there are more important things than being “cute.” Maybe the couple is cute, but are they holy? They are not their own to do with whatever they want, nor are they their boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s property. They are the Lord’s first. Grandparents, too, can help as we think generationally about God’s will being sanctification.