These past Sundays have been well spent remembering some parental purposes and priorities. We could go on indefinitely, but let me not set a bad example for fathers who don’t know when to stop lecturing. After today we’ll move on to some exhortations regarding temptations as we prepare to move on to our own property; we’d like to avoid being surprised by rot or mold under the carpet of our hearts.
Which provides an illustration of sphere sovereignty. The lender decides if we are creditable, not us. The fire marshal determines if our fire alarm is up to code. The color-blind can choose paint for their own living rooms, but they shouldn’t expect an equal vote for the group. There are, in fact, separate lanes.
So with parents. You are accountable for your family and for your own kids directly to God. Most of the time the rest of us can’t seen what you’re doing with them anyway; discipline is your call. The family is a sphere established by God.
But what about when you see another family in the wild, and something doesn’t look right? Should you say something? If someone says something to you, do you have to listen? What happens when spheres cross?
There has never been a set of perfect parents. All parents need to learn and grow. Isolated parents are foolish parents with Proverbs 18:1 applied. And if you won’t listen, it would be surprising if your kids do. As always, you’ve got to decide if you want to do good or look good.
Does no one talk to you because you’re doing it perfectly, or because you’re perfectly defensive? Are you easy to edify, or easy to offend? When you don’t say something to another parent, are you holding your tongue for their blessing? When you do say something, is it seasoned with grace?
The Golden Rule of parenting is just the Golden Rule applied to parenting. “Whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them” (Matthew 7:12). If you’re still not sure, ask your heavenly Father for wisdom and courage (Matthew 7:11); He gives good things to His children.